Love is something I only saw in the bikes I rode. The Royal Enfield shining bright under the sun light, roaring majestically on the roads, giving me the best moments of my life. But treat her bad she will give you trouble, grease up your hand and make u work hard on her; still she could get running again. A mysterious love we both had hard to explain.
Still remember the day it all started between me and my bike. I was just above 60 kgs tall and skinny. Dad said I could never take care of her she is not the one for me. But my ego never left me; I was in bloody love with her. The gentle beauty of her body, the boldness in the sound and confidence you get when you know you own her. I assumed my bike had life, bet she also thought we are two different entities it will never work out. But insane as we both were powered by our ego, we both started our life as lovers.
We never felt strange around each other it was as the feeling of “janam janam ka rishta” filmy, but we all feel so for that one special person don’t we all. May be we rushed in, maybe we were desperate but I never waited and I knew my bike wanted It too, in one week of us being together we went for a long ride on a summer noon. Was hot and humid, living on the coast usual summer weather, but we never bothered we had waited desperately for this day.
I wanted to be with her, I wanted to ride her feel my hands gripping her turning the throttle and just speed of on the dark tar road. Its sounds aggressive but I think it was fuelled by the passion and love; I had for her, a felling of SHE IS MINE; I own her only I get to do all this with her. Besides I knew I loved her; I knew she was the one; whatever happens, I would be there for her. She made me feel like a totally new person I had a purpose, a motive to live for. I just justified using these words whenever I felt I was taking it too fast on the road.
Our first ride ended great I was smiling I could see my bikes engine sounded like it was happy too. It’s our first ride together I might have been a little rough and experimental but she played along. It was getting dusky almost 6 pm; way past my college time. Mom will be waiting, had to get back fast, imagined in my head she saying” hurry up don’t want mum to catch us ,if she did it’s all over for us” . Heard her mention her mum and just zipped off , the speed and the wind on her face but dint have time to enjoy it just raced towards her home .
Next day I woke up thinking about yesterday I knew she would be waiting for me. Got ready quickly ate breakfast couldn’t wait to see her in the morning. We go to college together that was our deal. It was like a untold promise whole day be with each other cause mum din’t want me to ride a lot. Lots of trust issues when it came to bikes, beside she never like my Enfield, said it’s too bold and a bit outrageous. Can’t keep everyone happy can we ?
We reached college 5 minutes before the bell. It’s a bitter moment, we enter the college campus; I go one way to the Mechanical department she goes in opposite direction bike parking near E.C department . I would go to the canteen every day cause we had to cross the EC department to try and catch a glimpse of her or may be sit with her. I was greedy for every second of her life, so was she . “Over possessive” I don’t know but my feelings were true . And canteen food was horrible; it has to be true if I wished to eat it just to see her.
Another average week passed in my engineering college. College dint give us much time together just the usual lunch together or a small break where we got max 15-20 min. My friends were not too happy that I was obsessing over her but they too had learnt she meant a lot to me. A week went by busy in college got some time with her, I nick named her “JAANU”, its sounds lame but it just came out she was my life.
The felling of not spending time this week had finally got to us, bunked classes lied to our parents and finally went off on the all awaited ride , I was more greedy this time, Wanted more a lot more than last time . Maybe I crossed my limits; maybe she dint give me a sigh that the ride was going too far, at the moment she was enjoying it, we both were. I had never been so intimate before. I couldn’t stop myself; I just followed my heart carried on where ever the winding curve on the road took me. It was Saturday and it was pm we had to reach home by 1 . We rode back zipping at top speeds squeezing through traffic.
All seemed well till we reached home, at night I was hit with the hard truth, I had taken it too far it was too early in the relationship. Enfield wouldn’t start I couldn’t hear her speak to me. She was angry, she was scared; she never thought it would go so far so soon. I dint know what to say. I was in shock; I was guilty for mistakes I dint realize I was doing. How do I convince her that I wouldn’t leave her, tell her she is my life, I am nothing without her.
Things were never same it took a day or 2 to patch thing back and get her running again, but the trust was gone for lack of knowledge I had when it came to relationships, Enfield would break down probably every week she was never the same she had changed totally, my usual business would be just repair her convince her to start up and bring things back to normal. She thought I would leave her after going so far so she always broke down. I never got the logic
“If u think, I’ll leave you. Why do you break down and make it easier for me? “
Or was she testing how much I loved her. But testing every week? It was playing with my emotion.
I truly loved her no matter what I never let her know how hurt I was; I put a happy face on and tried to make things work. Just hoped in time she would trust me and be mine for ever. Almost a month had passed in our time together, we had a couple or may be three rides together, but it could never be compared to the first one the feeling of happiness after the ride, It was just incomparable . It was getting messier and messier with every ride trust was dropping drastically. She had a feeling of I just wanted to use her but never love her or be with her; a cheap feeling towards me. This feeling was just too heart breaking to handle, I gave her all I could selflessly but was hurt over a little intimacy.
Finally started striking me too, that we are two different things we are not the same, the point which kept striking her all along; but I tend to ignore it because love came above everything to me. But the hard fact is that world runs on logic, culture and rules not on emotions. Things dint seem great at the end of second month.
Culture? Status? Etc was no match for my ego I wanted her to be the love of my life. I have the solution for all problems I told myself. As expected after our next ride insecurities started growing. She was about to break down again. But this time I was prepared; for all the pain I got every time she broke down , I was taking a bitter sweet revenge , showing her that she needs me without me to take care of her, she is nothing . We are team, we are made for each other and we have to fight against the world to be with each other; not fight with each other. The fight lasted for two days I made her realize, how miserable she is without me, and how she will actually feel if I dumped her. Two days of argument, later finally she had realized my value. I just sat near the parking lot in college after our fight mending her; I imagined her speaking to me. The most beautiful moment ill ever spend with a women no one can ever match that 2 and half hours we spent together just talking.
Time flew by engineering was finally over; was a tough time with projects ,exams ,back logs the usual drama but she was always there for me, a moral support. We finally got the free time and money for the dream ride. Waiting impatiently in the blistering cold staring at the army officer to give the clear to start journey in to Leh . A riders dream, so was mine to ride my Enfield to Laddak.
Waiting here at the check post I can only think of the good moments I had with her, the bitter moments just seems like glue in our relationship. The fights the break downs all just bring a smile on my face when I see her standing next to me nervously waiting for the ride to start.
Finally the army officer waves his hand grasping his semi automatic giving us the clear; we sit on the bike and kick it, starts just in one kick! The thundering roar echoes in the valleys of Leh, powered by adrenaline.
I twist the throttle and set off on the rugged roads of Leh.
by Shefi Mohammed